Great Commission , The watchword is EVANGELIZE
And Jesus came and spoke to them and He said all power given unto me in heaven and in earth . Go ye therefore and teach the nations baptize them in the name of the Father , and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Teaching them to observe all teachings whatsoever I have commanded you and lo , Iam with you always even unto the end of the World. Amen Mathew 28:18-20,
This was the last words of Jesus before he ascended to heaven , this is what he commanded , in the over verse he said I have commanded you , ( a command) is authoritative word its not a request or begging , if it was like that he could say I beg you or I request you but as the King Lord and co creator of universe with his Father God , he has all power to command his own creation which he has redeemed with his own blood to go out there to them that are not yet know the light of the truth about him, and those who have been redeemed to help other show them the way of redemption through Jesus Chist ,
And then he said You shall Receive power after the holy Spirit has come upon you and you shall be witness unto both Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and unto the uttermost part of the earth, Acts 1:8
He said after receiving power it means we can’t do anything without him giving us the power, that is why so many arise to do the work of Ministry and in the way they give up and go to do other jobs , that means they went into the field without acquiring the power , that is why many are called and few are chosen,
A son of Man I have set you a watchman… Therefore thou shall hear the word at my mouth and warn them for me … if you will not speak to warn the wicked from his way that wicked shall die in his iniquity; but his blood shall I require at your hand, Ezekiel 33:7-8
The work of evangelism is warning is speaking what our Lord Jesus has told us or sent us to do or speak , evangelism is shouting out to the world is speaking on behalf of Jesus Christ himself , we are his representative to the world, we represent him or another word we are his ambassadors here on earth , we have been sent to what he sent us to do
An ambassadors are those who represent their countries to other foreign countries, as Christ Ambassadors we are representing heavenly kingdom and present it to other people who don’t know about our heavenly kingdom, The work of Evangelism is announcing our Heavenly kingdom or doing publication,
The work of watchman is safeguarding the gate or the city to make sure there is safety to the people who are living in , if anything will happen or get to the city must pass through the gate and its the work of watchman to shout out if he sees something which is not good , Any Christian workers are Watchmen in the world no matter who you are as long you know God and you are saved and call upon the name of Jesus , you are a watchman in the city of God, that is why he said in Ezekiel 33 if the wicked dies in his iniquities his blood shall be required in your hands, its because when sin was going on among you and you saw it and you did nothing and even maybe you even encouraged it and you real know the truth and you dint lead this man or stop him by the power you have received , Then if he dies his blood shall be upon you, that is why evangelists they are called to shout , you will never find any evangelists speaking as gentle man all speak shouting even if he is speaking to two people you may think he is talking to a thousand people, his call is to shout and rebuke sin whenever he sees it or perceives it,
You are the salt of the earth : but if the salt have lost its savor , wherewith shall it be salted? Then its thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. you are the light of the world . A city that set on a hill can not be hidden . Neither do men light a candle and put it under a Bushel, but on a candlestick ; and it giveth a light to the whale house .Let your light so shine before men, and they may see your good works , and glorify your Father which is in Heaven, Mathew 5:13-16
Salt is useful to several things , is used to make food taste good , its also used for preservation , our lives in Christ or in salvation is liken to salt which is useful for taste and preservation , as Christians we are required to be tasty to the world , the world is the people who we will with and walk with and who are watching us , whatsoever we do as people we claim we are born again all eyes are on us, That is why Jesus said Let your light Shine before Men that they may see your good works and glorify your Heavenly Father,
We are the light whatever we talk or say should glorify God especially before people who are not of our faith whom we intend to win them into our faith , let them see light in us let them taste the salt which is us, its easy to win somebody to Christ through your character especially those who know you well than speaking to then about your faith, its is said (Action speaks louder than words) how we behave and talk it can change somebodies life , don’t be like the world don’t put own like them talk like and behave like them if you want to win them to Christ Jesus be different from them , and in that way you can get a chance to win them back to God,
Don’t go the places you know the chance to change that person is less they change you , you may go in with bible and come out drunk and very terrible sinner, your entered as Christian but when you comes out they have changed you instead of changing them, so be careful and how you shine in darkness make sure your light in well kept , you cant go outside when its raining and you carrying your light open like those we uses in our villages ( Koroboi) The rain will put it off and if it was the only source of light you had , you will remain in darkness, so take care and be very careful how you use you light and how you present yourself to people who are not of the faith.
We should shine when you enter to a place where people are born again will know this person is different from us , some may mock, laugh ,and demote you , but don’t give up your faith believe in God who called you he has all reasons why he called and sent you to the world to shine, Most people give up so quick especially when they look at the world and see how good it is, you know the devil is so canning he makes available what you real like , if you like girls he makes them available for you if its men , the same money the same, any girl you look and admire when you just go and ask her out with you , she will never say no even if she Married whatsoever you want you get it with no struggle, but its for short time and nothing of the devil comes for free someday s you will pay for them dearly with your own life and eternally life in hell, so don’t give up your faith in God because of Material things keep up your faith and let your light shine always so that your heavenly father maybe glorified through you and your life in him.
There is no trouble is too great , no humiliation to deep no suffering to severe , no love too strong , no labor to hard ,no expense too large , but that is worth it, if it is spent in the effort to win a soul.
God love the soul more than all creation , he made it after his own image and made it like himself resembles himself, Every soul was departed from God and gone astray , and God has bought every soul back with a great price, and this price is by Jesus Christ, God loves every soul with an everlasting love, what a great love , sometime I imagines how God loved us how he felt for us, and after all evil acts he still sought a way to redeem us and save us from our sins , for me I cant just give my son or my only Daughter to die for someone else I cant , But our God did by giving his only begotten son Jesus Christ , John 3;16 what a great love.
Satan hates the soul in Satan enmity towards God he is using all means and his all energy , using every snare his uttermost cunning , with single purpose of ruining the souls of men, when a million million eternities have each lived their endless ages and have rolled by into the unthinkable past and time is no more , the soul will be still living , a conscious personality endowed with perpetual life reunited with the body . So he who wins the soul is wise, Proverbs 11:30
The bible teaches, And they that be wise shall shine as the Brightness of Firmament :and they that turn many to righteousness, as the star for ever and ever Daniel ,12:3,,
Compassion was in the heart of Jesus our saviors ministry, But when saw the multitudes of people he was moved with compassion on them, Because they fainted and were scattered as sheep having no shepherd , Mathew 9:36,
But thou oh lord art God full of Compassion , and gracious , long –suffering and plenteous in mercy and truth Psalms 86:15
Its through his compassion and Gracious mercy that we are saved somehow we did not deserve it , passion is strong feeling, pain, or suffering for something it may be love or hate,
Its for that passion that God had for us and that is why he sent his only and only son Jesus to die for us, God want us who are already saved to reach out and tell other people who are not yet known about him , with that passion love and mercy , We are saved with a purpose and this purpose is to reach out the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Gospel of repentance to all humanity , we are given mandate and as Christians we have to fulfill this mandate , The time is running and no longer in our side so we need to run with time and passion for soul,
Every born again Christian he or she is a soul winner no matter who you are you can win somebody to Christ Jesus, there are many ways of soul winning , some one can be changed just looking at you and your character , your character can change somebody and follow your ways positively or negatively , action speaks loud than words, what we speak may not be effective but what we live can be very effective , so you can affect somebody with your own life if you cant preach in public, you can do person to person evangelism , mass evangelism and more as long you have won somebody to Christ,
I say unto you , that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth , more than over ninety nine just persons, which need rependance.
Luke 15: 7
There is joy so much joy in heaven when one sinner turns from sin to righteous , and I believe in my heart whoever will speak and change this person from darkness to light he has just add so many points in heaven and his crown of life is more decorated , if there will be joy in heaven for a sinner what about the one who has lead him or her to that decision? Whatsoever you do in the lord shall be rewarded diligently and your hard works shall be paid,
No man have ever seen the glimpse of hell would ever want to follow human being to go there, Luke 16:28,
Hell is real and Heaven is real in hell full of torments pain and gnashing of teeth for ever, but Heaven everything is beau full good life forever, somebody said I better suffer here with the lord be called all stupid names be mocked , but be with the lord eternity in heaven, Its true sometime Christian life can be so much unbearable it can have a lot of problems and troubles ever can cause rejection by parents and even the community , but iam sure those who will stand God will pay them dearly,
When I got saved my own Parents spoke a lot of things about my religion they said I have joined devil worshippers, they wanted me to join their religion but I chose mine, my parents rejected me and all I was doing was wrong , before that I was a very bad boy , I dropped out of school because of my bad characters , after I got saved I begun to change over a suddenly my life was completely changed , my parents begun to love me again and right now iam like the leader of my family if there is any problem in my family or any decision to make they must ask me first, You may saw in tears but reap in Great joy.
They that saw in tears shall reap in joy . He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoice bringing his sheaves with him,
One of the question raised in the recorded history is Am I my brothers keeper? Genesis 4:9,
And this raises a question , Do I have any moral obligation towards others?
I sought for a man among them , that should make up a hedge and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it :But I found none,
Maybe God looked all around the world he found all men are sinners , he looked in Africa all of the them are sinners, he looked in America all American are sinners he looked in Israel his own chosen people, no one was clean enough to die for humanity, I believe is when he decided to look into the Heavens and he found his only begotten son Jesus Christ, who had no sin or never sinned and repented,
I believe they had a conversation in heaven before Jesus accepting to come and die for humanity, Wow what friendship even to die for a friend who even doesn’t know you who doesn’t love you , but die for him anyway ,
My sheep wandered through all mountains , and upon every high hill :yea my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth , and none did search or seek after them, Ezekiel 34;6
We are mandated to do this work of searching and seeking , which in simple term we call it outreach or evangelism, its our duty as people who have seen the light already and have known the right way to reach out those who still in darkness and don’t know which is the way to follow, win them back to God, Though many who still in sin knows very well about sin,
In considering question about sin , we are faced with two startling facts ,
1, The fact is that makes so little of sin .to some is an illusion , a religion mirage , the invention of some fanatic, its denied, joked off and laughed at by men, many who believe sin is a fact continue in it with little knowledge of its penalty,
2, The fact that God makes so much of sin , God said the soul that sins shall surely die , Ezekiel 18:20, The wages of sin is death Rom 6,23, And sin is abomination unto God , proverbs 6;16:19, he hates those who work iniquity, Psalm 5:5 , Moses said all that do unrighteously, are an abomination unto the lord, Deuteronomy25:16,
Sin is an evil force that can not be denied or escaped in this life especially know that the world is so evil and tempting, but it can be overcome by the power of God ,
As Christians we already know about sin , its us to lead the world out of sin , not everybody will receive us some will chase us put us in prison or mock us and even kill us, because that time is coming , so its our duty as Christians to work hard in soul winning while there is time to do that , before that dark days comes when we will not even allowed to speak anything about Jesus Christ , its time to work hard before that time comes.
If thou Draw thy soul out thy to the hungry , and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity , and they darkness be as noon day, Isaiah 58;10,
If we draw our soul to hungry souls , those who are still no born again and satisfy their afflicted souls the our light shall shine as noon day, its not in vain serving the lord , its not in vain at all there is a reward for us even if you just won one soul , your reward is great, there are some places they will not allow you to even speak anything about your faith , but if you get a chance and speak to one person and he listens to you and change his ways and follow God, then you will be you have done a very great job recommendable before God, and your reward is great,
When you go out to reach out you must pray to God as him his favor , his presence to with you , and his spirit of conviction to be with you , intercede for these you are going to reach , intercession is the way leading to soul winning and stand in salvation , No body can prosper without it , no church can go far with it , no Christian can grow without it, the law of life demand production, and there is no production there is no increase,
He has poured his soul unto death ; and he was numbered with the transgressors , and he bare the sin of many , and he made intercession for the transgressors
Isaiah 53; 12 ,
You begin to care for men spiritually when you begin to pray for them,
Always in every prayers of mine for you,
Praying always for you Colossians 1:3 ,
Jesus left to us this command , Pray ye therefore the lord of the he harvest will send forth laborers into his harvest, Mathew 9:38,
Intercession is very vital part of life in any born again Christian, if you cant reach out then you can intercede for those are in the field of harvest, intercede always the them , always say a word of prayer to evangelist pastors teachers of the word, prophets and apostles, always pray for them , there are so many challenges but in prayers they can conquer all of those challenges are facing on the ways. Always intercede for the people you are going to reach , be a crusade open air meeting or person to person, intercede for them first.
It begins with personal contacts.
He first findeth his own brother Simon , and said unto him , we have found the messiah which is interpreted the Christ, John 1:41
Christ came with one reason to seek the lost and bring them back to his Father God, For the son of man is come to seek and save that which was lost, Luke 19:10
The Movement of Christianity in this world is scripturally based on personal contact, anyone who really knows Jesus will want others to know about him,
The secret is in the word of Andrew , we have found The search for satisfaction in a mans soul is completed in a living knowledge of Jesus Christ, personal evangelism is sharing this Discovery ,
And he brought him to Jesus, John 1:42,
And how was this accomplished? Christ said , Follow me and I will make you fisher of men, Mathew 4:19 , love of Christ produces a love for mankind,
We are to be work men who need not to be ashamed, 2Tim 2:15 , lives today are full complicated by sin, They need more than slogans and formulas . They need personal help, a conscientious doctor must deal with each patient separately , and so conscientious soul winner .
This must be kept in mind,
1, One must live it, I cant say to my Brother Do what I say and don’t do what I do, they must see Christ in me 1st Corinthians 4:9, My strongest Testimony is my daily life, Action speaks louder that words.
2, One must love people, I cannot pretend .The other person knows my motive immediately . The power of Evangelism is described in Revelation 22;17 ,The spirit and the bride say come, when my concern of the holy spirit toward mankind , there is effect to a community of interest in the individual that results in compulsion,
3, One must meet the Public, Jesus was heavens artist at this , he never mat a stranger . Paul testified , iam made all things to all men that I might by all means save some, 1Corinthians 9;22
Kindness will Open doors Ephesians 4;32, it will bring affirmative response
4. One Must Look For Need. Jesus said those who that are whole have no need for the physician , but those that are sick, I came not to call the Righteous but sinners to repentance., you can imagine how many people want to talk , but they are looking people who they can have confidence in them, always look for a need , sometime you can have a great to door of opportunity in life if you are a person who looks for a need, if you see there is a need of evangelism in certain place then confront that need , small doors that people neglect are the same door can very big door to a person who sees a need and confront it, in same time that door can open and become big door and other people admire it. Always seek search for a need.
5, One must Communicate , Keep away from technicalities . refuse to become involved in debate. The Samaritan woman quibbled ,our fathers worshipped here in this Mountain ;and you say in Jerusalem is where people ought to worship, John4;20, The Samaritan women was not crazy or confused , it was her heart that needed Christ before she needed a place to worship and be redeemed,
I know that Messiah is coming which is called Christ When he has come he will tell us all things, Jesus told her Iam the Messiah, John 4;25;26 NLT
You must Concentrate on Christ , Whosoever you are speaking to , you must put Christ first in your conversation , let Christ be glorified and that person see deferent between you and him, Pride may offend the person you are speaking to and it may be hard to win him over to Christ, Let Jesus increase and you decrease, John 3;30, He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less,
Your Business there is present Jesus Christ and nothing more than that.
You must use Tactics; In wherever you go you must have some tactics to win that person , first you must know few things about that person, know him well know his religion if he has one before you present Jesus to him, be sensitive to that persons feelings , it is a spirit of discernment.
If you need wisdom , ask our generous God and he will give it to you, he will not rebuke you for asking.James 1;5 NLT
Don’t rush to present Jesus to somebody who you have not known him , you must introduce yourself that person first tell him or her your name, ask wise questions and allow him to answer, Be Natural, Be Courteous, Be a good Listener that way it will be easy for you because you have already prepared his heart to receive what you have, after that know you can present Jesus to them.
You Must bring that person to a Decision Making, This can only be accomplished through the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit ,
And when he is come , he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness and of Judgment John 16;8
Its our duties as Christians to reach out and win souls to Christ but its Gods obligation and the holy spirit to convince that person to receive Him, and don’t feel bad when you speak to somebody about Jesus and refuse your massage to him, your work is to present the Gospel and nothing more, the work of saving is the of God and the Holy spirit, The good thing is they have heard the gospel and they know the truth even if they refuses. Don’t give up keep on working in the field of harvest.
When this person accepts your massage, Then you can know lead him to receive Jesus Christ, You can pray for him. Decision is not conversation , Decision is an act of the human will , Now God can not regenerate until man has taken this step, If any man hear my voice , and open the door , I will come in to him
Revelation 3;20 God is not a dictator Gods respects mans freedom of choice although it maybe wrong choice ,
Hope differed makes the heart sick .But when the desire cometh , it is a tree of life Proverbs 13;12. When you get the chance do it don’t let the mood pass away. The chance may never come again.
You Must teach them to Listen to Gods voice. Its your Business to introduce them to the Savior . let the person you are dealing with hear the voice of God speaking to him or her in reassurance and comfort , and you have built strength,
This is done by teaching the person two or three primary verses of scripture. Tie the seeker to Gods word .Let your friend know before you leave him that God has spoken those words to him. For example , you can read for him this Verses, John 5;24, and tell him those words are the words of the son of God to you .
Knowing God and Knowing about God is two Different Things.
After he has gathered his flocks , he walks a head of them , they follow him because they know his voice , they wont follow a stranger they will run from him because they don’t know his Voice . John 10; 4; 5,
I know God when I get close to him. Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you , James 4;8 ,
We come to know God when we get close to him , how do we get close to God? By reading his word we know him well and we come to know about him through what we read, in this generation no body has seen God , but we believe there is God according to what we read in Bible his word, and how we believe ,The word of God is Gods breath its inspired of God , 2Tim 3,16
We know God by having close relationship and having deep intimacy with God through prayers, we can get close to God only by prayers, and God can speak to us through his word, and defiantly by prophecy Dreams Visions and even God can speak to you himself , it determine how deep and strong is your relationship with him,
When introducing a new Christian into the family of God make sure you give him Christianity Directions which Read the bible , pray to God always, Testify and Go to Church, all this are vital directions for a new born Christian,
Conversation is a two way traffic , you talk and listen to other party ,
You will find people of Different perspective some will ask you questions and you must be ready to answer them , Study the Scripture and be ready, Study to show yourself approved unto God a workmanship that needed not to be ashamed, Rightly dividing the word of truth 2Timothy 2;15 , you will meet people who have a lot of questions some are once born again and backslidden so they know all about the bible and salvation, so you much be ready with Scriptures ask the holy ghost to give you wisdom and Revelation to be able to challenge them,
Repent mean Turn around Change your Mind , Luke 13:3 Except you Repent you shall likewise perish,,
The First Step to Christian life is repentance,
You need the Saviour, accept him , But as many received him to them he gave them power to become sons of God Even to them that believe on his name, John , 1:12,
This is what God does for you . This is the new Birth a Miracle of Spiritual life performed by the holy the Holy , Which were not born not of Blood , nor of the will of the flesh , nor the will of man , but of God, John 1,13, John 12, 25:26.
That if thou shall Confess you with thy mouth that the lord Jesus, and shall believe in thine heart that God hath Raised him from the dead thou shall be saved .For with the Heart a man believeth unto Righteousness , and with the Mouth confession is made unto salvation , Romans 10:9;10, Math 10:32:33,
Testify to other people , Friends ,Family and all people the decision you have made in Christ Jesus Don’t be afraid of the name of Jesus nor be ashamed,
Read the Bible,
The word is the source of your faith when you read the word you get to understand the mind of God for you , you realize what God has laid for you and his love for you , you will get more understanding of him and power to stand against the power of evil in time of Temptation and trials, The Bible is your Manual Guide to your Christian life, Read to understand it, understand it to live it ,
These things have I written unto you , that believe on the name of the son of God; that you may know that you have Eternal life; and that you may believe in the name of the son of God. 1,John 5;13. Romans 10:17. Psalms 119; 105,
Talk to God through Prayer,
Prayer is talking to God, you get to know somebody by spending time with him and talking to each, and with Union and Communion, if you want to know God more you need to pray spend time with him , have intimacy with him all the time , by doing this you will get to know him and even speak to you , God loves when we spend time with him , he likes us to talk to him,
And this is the Confidence that we have in him ,That if we ask any thing according to his will , he heareth us: and if we know he hears us , whatsoever we ask , we that we have the petitions that we desire of him, 1, John 5:14:15, also Eph 6:18, James 4:2.
Ask for water Baptism/Immersion,
Ask for water Baptism , this is outward Testimony to inward transaction.
Hehat believeth and be Baptized shall be saved ; But he that believeth not shall be condemned, Mark 16:16,
Therefore we are buried with him by Baptism into death :Like as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the father, even so, we shall walk in newness of life , For , If we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, We shall be also in the likeness of his Resurrection, Romans 6;4;5 This will Continuous...............
This is another Article of Relationship.
Safeguarding a Relationship
Friendship is Indispensable to every Human, its is a trust to one another, Sharing and enjoyment of one another s Company, it can be fulfilling experience and when it dies it causes us pain, when friendship approaches in wrong manners it turns sour it can be very painful shameful abusive destructive and eventually undesirable , This is so in intimate friendships you must have heard remarks in despair , (I hate him I don’t love him I will never be a friend him again)Friendship is agreement between two people, the bible says how can two people walk together if they don't agree?
Friendship is a cultivation of love or deepening the Acquaintance of another persons , the way he or she is , his or her strength or weakness and limitations partners must show each other tolerance and appreciations in the process of building their relationship , by doing things together exchanging views walking together , helping each other in ant way , sharing experiences both what you went through in life or even in past relationship, experience shared together stirs up the joy of friendships
We lose or destroy our friendship when we lose confidence in our friends, when we fail to appreciate them and congratulate them for their love and confidence in us, and forget to give in return to our friends, when we lose confidence towards our friends we damage what could not cost us anything and later leave us pain and wounds, As friendship develops we learn more about our partners and learn how best to relate with them and sustain friendships even In difficult times , do nor ever tie with new friends and forget old friends you may need them again, Maintain old friends although in lo profile ,
The deferent between ordinary friendship and courtship there is intension between the both, Courtship begins when someone realizes there is a need of a spouse, that is when seriousness begins in Relationship/Friendship no longer want to pass time but needs somebody in life,
Courtship Marks the third Major step in Relationship , Courtship is a step close to Marriage and its wise to make your decisions right and make your intention known and agree with your partner in which cause your courtship will take from there, know , if both of you have agreed you should avoid any unnecessary anxiety and and doubts you should be sure of each other before you take it further
Courtship is making one yield to the initiators request for Marriage, Courtship involves giving and receiving as much as possible information about each other , you need to be open to each other and if one of you is not ready to confide to you then is not ready for Relationship, at this stage both partners should reveal themselves to each other about themselves, know each other well, ( Consider which of basic important to you before getting deep involved and if each partners are honesty to each other , they have place of mind.)
Genuine love is deferent because it waits and its very realistic, every body want somebody who is proud of and whom can be respected , any good wife or husband their goodness is based in their character , Character is a reflecting mirror that shows your true image, your character will tell who really you are, and somebody said actions speaks louder than words, Every body is looking for a genuine love , because a wrong choice can lead into lifetime pain and regrets while happiness eludes the home.
Courtship requires proper use of time, don’t spend a lot of time alone and in private place avoid physical contacts, and don’t spend time unnecessarily respect each other, use your time to evaluate your relationship/Courtship and pray about it, when somebody is in courtship it is easy to define there can be any problem later or in marriage ahead, superficial involvement blinds us to realize a potential partner is genuine or not genuine but the character will reveal him or her and you will know which direction to take even if its painful, in courtship is where we get a chance to learn more about each other and what lies in store for you in Marriage , one can not hide his true character for long time,
After courtship is initiated you will discover you have different believes from that of your partner holds, compare them with yours and differences may occur, because individual are influenced by their backgrounds and experience in salvation can be different from yours, a saved person confesses that Jesus Christ is lord , but his action should speak and be a Testimony of his salvation,
Choose a partner who will encourage your spiritual life not who will drag you along, if you discover your lover or your partner is not born again Christian and you are a born again Christian don’t pressure to be saved , he or she may give in just to marry you, but when marriage takes place he or she gives up in salvation , and the damage will be already done and can not be repaired but the victim has to persevere in his Marriage. Find born again Christian partner who truly born again , God will give you suitable partner who is born again a heavenly bound partner, non-believe absolutely its not God will , abandon ant Marriage plan if your partner is not born again Christian,
Marriage is based in true love alone followed by Patience, Faithfulness, and obedient, Marriage stand through pursuit of love, with money ,and all other materials things without love , genuine love , that Marriage will not stand quarreling will be their daily life and there will be no Happiness enjoyments in that Marriage, open your eyes wide o and be prayerful child of God,
Contact in Courtship
Avoid visiting your partners home , office or any place of work frequently
Avoid behaviors that can attract sexual desire such as , indecent touch, clothes that attracts sex, Kissing and more,
Don’t disregard other people now you are in relationship, be civil to all people whom you have before you got into relationship,
Avoid spending a lot of time together doing nothing this can lead into sin, Idle mind is the devil workshop, yes you are born gain Christian , but this can not guarantee you anything when it come to sexual attractions and its desire,
Avoid being alone when in company of others, always learn to mingle with each other , no matter how much you love each other, by separating yourselve in certain place alone, you will provoke your other friends to exclude you in their programs you may need them some days
Avoid unnecessary jealous when your partner spending time with mixed friends of opposite sex, be mature by your partner spending time with opposite sex does not necessarily mean emotion spring, trust each other and be there for each other always.
If your partner is flirting unrighteous and shows no respect, give yourself time to reconsider that relationship and its involvements, such can cause you a lot of pain later ,Seek advice about it to people who went a head of you and experienced than you or your Pastor,
Communication in Relationship
Communication is very important in our lives, through communication we get to know each other well and our actions communicates our attitudes feelings and our emotions,
Our bodies has different parts, but until both part communicate to each other our bodies can not faction well , same our friendships and relationships, for a relationship to grow it need good communication from both parties,
There are many ways of communications , the way we put it communicates our attitudes our character and it tell s who we are, the way we talk it defines us, the we walk it tells who real we are, even eating can define us, all this is part of communication, if girl puts own a transparent dress before men it shows what she want and she is communicating her sexual desire,
Our communication can encourage us or discourage us , holding hands when talking with your partner it may communicate in wrong way and lead to lastfull thoughts
Its true friendship we gets life partners that today we call them wives and husbands, no one will wake up in the morning and come back evening with a wife and husband especially this days
Things to Consider
Do not Glorify evil things in your conversation, such as violence ,sex talks and this can lower your dignity , and don’t talk to much on how you are educated and informed than others this will make them have resent on you,
Don’t gossip about others discuss your own ideas and your own plans, don’t talk about people, Think carefully on what you want to say, you may say something and letter come back on you in a very bad way and be judged Think carefully Matt 12;36.
Be decent and respectful to your friend around you, Try to give adequate time and maintain regular communication between your friendship, Failing to this will make your friendship to wane, and if you feel your friendship is doing no good to you seek other friends that will keep you busy and happy.
By Bro Jonathan Mwadime
Marriage is based on three things the major one being Love followed by Trust and faithfulness and then Patience and other things can follow such as Being honest to each other , what is honest ? Honest is being open to one another tell your new partner about your life style he or should not hear from someone else it’s good to hear from you , tell him or her your sexual activities before you met how many men or women you have as sexual partner and what reason, because there is nothing someone can do without have a reason as to why she or he did so give reasons,
When you want to enter into a very serious relationship with someone you real love then you must be ready to tell them about your life early before your relationship goes far and later realize you have never been honest with him or her and that relationship many end up in a very bad way , that why you hear some killed himself or herself because of losing a love, when you love you must be prepared to be hurt as well because not all things your partner does is right sometime can do things that you real hate to see or hear about , but because you love each other you have to understand you are both from very Different backgrounds both Religion and Cultural,
Now the reason why when you are entering into a very serious relationship then you must be ready and even take time to study one another spend time together make your communication be very clear and regular because in any relationship there must be a regular communication , when there is no Communication that relationship will lose its meaning and at last people end up hurting each other, When you Communicate you get to know each other well , the way you speak and the way you reacts that when you partner will know what kind of a person he or she is involved with , then is where you will make your decisions what step you make , always take time before you make any decision especially life partner because when you chose wrong you may regret your entire life living in the same house with someone you don’t really love and even someone you real hate, you know when turns it becomes hate and when it becomes hate its very bad, so make right choices in life .
What you chooses is what will be yours that is why Gods said in Deut I have set before you life and death choose life and live or choose death and Die, God has given us a right to choose he never chooses for any one, that why God will never choose a wife or husband for you , God made his mistakes when he chose a wife for Adam and in fact he did not choose for him he created a wife for him but still Adam blamed God , Adam Adam where are you ? It’s this woman you gave me, Adam Adam where are you , God it’s this woman you gave me you see why God will never you chose a partner for you , God took one blame and that blame was from Adam and it ended there with Adam.
God has given us a free choice to chose what we want and what we need God is not a Dictator he never dictates us rather he has given us a freedom to chose that why he will never never in this life chose for you a wife or a life partner. To be sincere marriage is not an easy thing to rush into it someone said marriage is a tall wall those outside want to jump in and inside want to climb the wall and jump outside and if they will ever be asked to remarry again they will not accept because when you make a wrong choice of a business when you lose the profit plus capital you hate the business and if someone will come and tell about the same business and it’s a good business and how profitable it is you will not believe it him , when you make wrong choice of a partner you live to regret and when you gets a chance to escape no matter what you will be told or even hear about marriage will change your perspective about marriage,
For you to avoid such experience make a right Choice choose well and be very keen and careful when telling someone I LOVE YOU and if you will told don’t be in a hast to reply I LOVE YOU TOO when you know you are not ready for that person or that kind of a relationship one thing you should know and do is always follow your heart , you heart will never deceive you and because the only person know s the truth about your self is you so always follow your heart and decide with your heart and not with your minds or how you are feeling, mind can cheat you and feeling can mislead you into wrong actions and whatever you decide with your minds and your feeling will bring regrets, that when someone can say I wish I knew I would not have done this , when you Chose with your heart you will never regret because when choosing you were sure about your choices,
Life has full sacks of Choices but what matters is what you choose decide and make final decisions and whatsoever you choose is what will become yours, Now getting into serious relationship with someone you don’t love or you have no feelings for him or her is like entering into business agreement with no plans or executive summary something you don’t have it in your mind or even something you don’t think about it in that kind of relationship is full of tragedy hurting one another and later breaking each other’s heart, sometime people get attracted to another people with very different agendas some can be attracted for beauty of color, figure, body structure, Money and Wealth and some real love so you must real know what is this person up to because if they are after something when that thing goes they will go with it but real love stands test of time comes what true love will still stand but the love for material things that kind of love will just fade away with time and when that love goes what remains is maybe mother and father but husband and wife, so many marriages are in crisis today because of making wrong choices of partners and this is a reality in the process you get to meet right people right partners when you begin to feel loved and well taken care of now you realize you belong there, now my question remains what will happen when that happens? Wrong choices can make people regret and hate the word Marriage for life,
What real makes people to make wrong choices in life? most people they don’t want to wait when they hear this is good they just jump in and begin to do it without even thinking about it or even investigating it, someone comes and tells you this business is good and without taking your time to know more about it you jump in and at the end you lose , why because you dint seat down and think about it, it doesn’t mean if someone else has succeeded doing that even you, you will succeed as well, Don’t enter into a serious relationship if you are not ready for it or because your friends are in a relationships , don’t marry because your pear or your age mates are all married and you are not by doing this you may make wrong choice or don’t follow your feelings and your sexual desires to enter marriage , do you know many people get into marriage relationship with their main perspective being sex , sex is not marriage because even people who are not married they still do sex , if you base your marriage on sex then you are very wrong sex is cultivated by love you share its the fruit of your wonderful moment you have shared together , its sweet when both a wife and husband when they are enjoying it , any marriage is based on sex don’t last because not all time you will have that mood for sex man or woman,
Sex is part of Marriage union and its an intimacy and that is what makes a marriage a unique thing but it’s not a pillar of marriage so when looking for a life partner don’t look on visible things like Beauty , Figure , or entirely body Structure, Money and wealth because all things someday will pass and fade away now when this things fades away will you still love each other will you still cherish each other as first you met or you will change and look somewhere else? Marriage is based on on Love not just but real love that will cover all mistakes that may arise in marriage life,
There are several things you should know before you decides to make a choice of a life partner, when choosing a life partner make sure that partner meets the stands you have set make sure they meet you standards and what you want in man or a woman , this will avoid regrets and despairs because you marry somebody who doesn’t meet your standards you have set then this will lead you into thinking of choosing again , yes sometime people makes mistakes and make a wrong choice and later meet with the right person the person that meets their criteria and when this happen somebody can be real confused , so to avoid this make a right choice, now what will you do to avoid this, don’t rush in to making a quick decision don’t take your time think about it ask yourself if you sure and ready for this person, spend time together study each other well , know your partners Temper ,know his likes and dislikes , know what makes him happy and what makes him angry , seek to know his core values, seek to know what he thinks about his future , there are people who don’t have think about their lives they just live today tomorrow to take care itself, don’t try to associate yourself with such kind of people unless you share the same value.
Seek to know his backgrounds that is Culture and Religion, there are some people were raised in very funny culture and may be very difficult to cope with that culture, so seek to know their culture and what they believe in, seek to know what he or she believes or his religion some have funny religions, so seek to know him well before you say yes or make a choice, Don’t ever make a hest in anything that concerns your life or your happiness because your happiness determines what you decide and what you choose. Again life is full of choices wrong and right choices so be very careful what you choose , because your choice can sabotage your entire life and your happiness. And still your choice can make you very happy too .Remember marriage is a choice and still you can still be without a wife or husband if you wish so.
You can choose to be happy and still you can sabotage your happiness by making wrong decisions in fact nobody knows whatsoever is doing or choosing is wrong but there is still chance to be happy , people can make mistakes if someday in your life you have ever make a mistake you can still rectify your mistakes and be happy thereafter. There are something’s in life can be reversed and some no matter how you do they will always be there hunting you up but still you can decide to be happy , even if you can t change things in your life you can change how people will look at you and this can be done by changing your attitude toward your old life and live a new life, to build trust it can take years but to destroy that trust can be destroyed in Minutes or even seconds and to gain it back it can take you Years, Marriage is a lifetime commitment so when making this commitment seat down and count the cost before you think of making that decision,
Safeguarding our Marriages
There are several things that can be done to safeguard our marriages , there are so many reason s to why people who so much loved each other fall out of love in no time and never want or even admire each other , you find people were so much in love they could not leave each other behind they were walking together holding hands so much romance even on the road, but in few years you find this people falling out of love no longer love each other anymore, but because of children they have together that is what binding them together and not as husband and wife but as Father and mother, but the question is why This can happen? According to my observation as man and a savant of God this is what I have found out,
One of the things is , someone can enter into union with someone he or she wasn’t sure whether he loved or not some enter into a relationship out of their frustration and disappointments because if you get into a relationship out of frustration when you find yourself is when you realize you dint real love this person but you wanted just a companion a shoulder to lean on when you feel like falling someone to wipe away you tears when you cry but not a husband or wife for life, when you realize she is the kind of a wife or husband you needed and may be you find someone else out there that fits your criteria then you fall for him or her and that’s where things begins all fall apart,
Frustration and feeling alone or pitying yourself because of your age, body structure, color, tribe and maybe your education levels can lead someone into marrying someone he or she doesn’t love ,
1,Age, age can cause someone to fall for someone you don’t love you can be at 40s or even 50s and find your husband that will respect you and love you can be your age even under age love doesn’t matter the one plans a marriage is God and if you can find your partner as Gods plans you will never regret why and ask yourself so many questions in the process of life why this , and that is where argument begins , don’t worry even if at your age no one has come for you or no one want to see even if you have approached several girls with your proposal no one want to say yes don’t worry keep on praying and stay in the lord you own husband or wife is coming well prepared , yes you may feel you are late but it’s good to have your own that will respect you than rush and get the one who is not yours that will not see you as wife or husband and give lifetime frustrations,
I have my aunt who she is about 45yrs old now she is not married but her wedding is coming up on August she’s getting married at last and she is going to be a mother at 45, one thing that amasses at 45 Yrs old she still a girl and not a mother, but she going to be married , just wait upon the lord don’t give up , why do people grow old ? it’s because they are so choosy when you set your standards you must be ready to wait for very long and sometime Mr. right or Mrs. right may come on your way that time you think you are not ready or you don’t want, and in the process you chase him or push her away and when you are ready now you want someone in your life and because of your character no one want you , or some people have funny characters when people look at you they just fear , and sometime no one want to be associated with you ,
The way you speak with people will determine who will associate with you because nobody want to close to a person who has a questionable character and a person who doesn’t plan what to say or talk , The bible say a wise man thinks twice before saying a word. So the way you talk to people will determine who will be with you, so measure your words well, that is one thing that can cause a person to live long without a life partner,
2,Character, Character is the picture of a real person and your character is what reflects your man your true picture, so whatsoever you show to people is who you are, out of the abundant of the heart the mount speak, and also whatsoever you show people or make feel that is your true identity , people can pretend to be someone else but that cannot go for some time they will find themselves showing their true character, in fact if you want to know someone try to provoke him or her that’s when you will know this person well,
So your character can push away the people you love and even people should love you and show you their love, there are people when you meet them they can look you from your head to your toes why because you are not in their class even some can pass you by not because they have not seen but because you’re not in their league, such character can lead and cause you late to get married, because your character is pushing them away, Character is a reflecting mirror and it reflect through your heart, the way you walk matters, the way you talk matters , the way you put on cloths matters, you can put on a small skirt that shows you , your nakedness and say you put on with clear conscious, you had your own reason and maybe you just saw that on TV and you though its just a cloth , but remember not everyone will know that, people will judge you from outside but our God will judge you from inside, so to avoid people to misjudge you put your character a right path walk as God instructs walk as God wants you to walk, the you take people and the way you answer people they will know who you are, The world will measure you the way you behave we will judge, if you are small girl don’t take men as trash at that time you don’t need them but one day in life you may need a man in your life and when you realize you need a man, all came to you and them that had interest in you have got other people they are already married, and you have to wait for long time, so if you know one day you will need to get married to despise anybody you may despise your own husband .
I have seen girls who vowed to themselves I will never get married to that person and real despised them so much but as time went they realized them men they real despised and show a lot resentment they were their supposed husbands now they are living together with them , in fact they have children with ugly men as they were used to discuss them , know they are calling them my husband the father of my children , life can make you go round and round and at the end you realize you are where you begun and nowhere to go again that’s why you can find a very beautiful woman married to a very ugly man the man she real hated now he is husband, your character can cause you a lifetime regret,
3, Tribes, clans, Education levels, all this can delay you from getting married but one thing you should know God has every persons partner you have your partner no matter how old you may be your partner is there don’t feel bad your over 30 yrs and still single and nobody has come to tell you I love you, but despite all you must examine yourself well, you may be the problem of yourself examine yourself well, Education is another thing and it’s not a crime to be illiterate and sometime it’s not our faults to be who we are not educated, but the truth of the matter is most people want educated people someone who has a career and reliable person someone provide when necessary , and in my observation people who has no good education they have something that if you are not patient you can’t cope , Men want educated women and women want educated men, so education can be hindrance for a man or woman to late getting married but if you are not educated don’t worry your man will come at his own time, keep on praying to God and wait patiently .
For you enter into Marriage make sure you have overcome all things, seek to know more about your partner ask her or him questions by doing this you will know what kind of a person you want to get married too by doing this you will be able to safeguard your marriage , in so much complicated and if you can enter into union with someone you don’t love or even feel him or her then you will be you have add more sorrow to your life, imagine life is taking you in a very high speed at your work place headache back at home wife is a problem if you are a woman when your husband leave the house the peace reigns but when he comes back home conflicts begins, choose well less you regret later.
When in marriage there are several things you can do to help your marriage not to fall away, in my observation I have come to realize what makes many men to go out of their marriages and look for side stickers or other girls the main problem is their women big percentage is women and some is their character of loving many women and even how are raised up with their parents or some are under the influence of curse, they rapped a girl or pregnant a woman and dumped her even for another woman or even you played a girl and dumped her and out of pain she spoke a word of curse and you know God listen so much the cry of afflicted and depressed so without knowing the consequence of it they just leave and without asking for forgiveness, in future that curse will follow them it’s not that they want to be like that but under that force they find themselves doing it again and again, they were cursed , you have done this to me you will never be satisfied with any woman , whenever you see a woman you will fall for her and go with her and you know that kind of a person cannot contract sexual Transmitted diseases because they were meant to suffer long , but if you realize and act quickly you can be set free from that curse.
But with all this our wives can course us to look somewhere else and fall for other women, because the way your wife handles you and take is what will determine if you will abide with her or you will have seek another one somewhere else, God created women to possess his man and make sure he is fine and feel well , women are supposed to make their men to feel at home when they comes back from working place, some are working in offices some are using machines and some are using their energy to work and earn a living for his family needs, when he comes from work he needs his wife attention, but if the wife cannot give his own husband attention after long day with arrogant bosses and supervisors when he comes home you don’t care about him even a cup of tea, you are just busy watching TV set busy watching those Soaps, do you think your man will tolerant that? No he will not unless he has no feelings but if he is a real man he will need attention and if not in your own house then someone else will give him that attention that you don’t give, in any human life there is three empty vacuum that is Sex,Feelings and Emotions, and Spiritual life.
Sex , Sex is satisfying when is done in a proper way and if not done in a proper way it turns and be an abuse that is why you can hear such remarks I don’t feel my Husband or I don’t feel my wife am doing it just for the sake and because am still married to him or her the main reason is their sex life is not perfect or someone has heart the other in the process of life and that inner pains are there still in the heart and when those past things comes in minds during love making time all feelings goes away, and because true love making is from the mind and if not in the mind then there will be no perfect love making in that Marriage relationship, Sex is the act of Love intimacy and if there is no love then it turns and just remain sex making two people living under circumstances that has brought them together that is bounding them together but with no love, and if there is no love in any union then that union will not last if it lasts then quarrels will be daily visitor to your home, when it reaches that state that is when this two people came together in the name of marriage will begin to look outside and seek love somewhere else and that is when will begin to have affairs outside their marriage and when that begins that union is on verge of dying, for people to live together as wife and husband they must feel each other and by feeling each other is when love making becomes perfect and will want to do it over and over again it becomes sweet and wanting all the time. But there is no feeling its very tough even if a woman removes all her cloth and remain naked if the man has no feelings for her he can’t do anything even his body cant arouse , why no feelings toward his wife and if his body arouses it will be sex not love, even women when there is no feelings toward their men no matter how you caress her she will not feel anything and when you enter her she begins to murmur pains the reason is she was not ready and not wet for sex, and by that sex becomes an abuse when it’s time for bed is when a woman begins to wash dishes sweep the house or read books, now it’s not that she is reading but she is buying time for her husband to sleep first and she comes to bed her husband is deep asleep and men are doing hard jobs when he comes home he is tired so when he goes to bed he just sleeps like a small baby , when the morning comes the wife will be the first one to wake up last to sleep first to wake up,
Sex is very vital action in any Marriage if there is no sex in marriage then that is not Marriage and that is what real causes the couple to begin going out and when they find other who makes them feel like men and women they will stick with them and because most men fear to take responsibilities so what they do is having multiple of affairs they fear to make decision to take other wife since the first one failed this may fail too so what they keep on doing is having many women in their lives and that is where the Sexual Diseases comes from and into the marriage. Yes no one can predict that marriage can fall since the begin of it was so sweet and if you could tell them this will soon end I believe they can even kill you , and its true love can fade away if you dint real love each other or you loved each other for some reason it can end and very tragic way, but true love never ends up through storms ,winds of life true love will persevere and overcome the storm of it all true love conquers all. sometime life can be so unfair but with God all things are possible .
What Happens When love dies?
What happens when love dies? That love turns and become bitter and hateful have you ever see people who real loved each so much but as time went on that love died and they hated each other with passion? Have you ever heard a person saying I hate him? i hate her , i wish i had not Married to him or to her. You can’t hate somebody whom you have never loved so when love dies what remains is hate.Love is the opposite of love is hate Now when love dies in marriage that union is totally dead it will not be easy to revive it now what remains is hate and father mother thing, when love dies can even cause death that is why you here people killing each other in their houses because you can’t kill the person you real do love before you decide to kill and or beat them up and wound them what causes that is hate that is inside that person, for the love of a woman to completely die it can take very long time before she decide to call it a quit that is why a woman can find her own husband with another woman on bed and still forgive her husband even caught him several time and can still forgive him and tell him I love you my husband, but men give up so quickly and if a man finds his wife with another man on bed he can never forgive her and if he does he will never trust her , The love of men dies so quickly especially you gives him a reason to do so, love is very vital thing in any union and for that union to last strong needs love,
Marriage is an obligation and not a bound someone being Married does not make a man to stop having multiple relationships some get married to full fill their culture and some to please their Parent or their custom but in their heart they are still not Married that is why despite of how beautiful wife in their homes they still have side stickers or (Mpango wa kando), Marriage is being responsible and acting like a gentle man despite of the challenges you still act responsible to make sure in your home and your Family no one is complaining , we have attended many conference hard and read so many books on being faithful in our Marriages and still people are doing the same thing, after the Conference they still go back to their normal actions,Most people make their marriages as a hiding place their Marriages status is their hiding umbrella they use that to hide their true identity of whom they are, people see them as Married men but what they do in private place is filthy and dirty things but they are under that Marriage umbrella ,
Getting married doesn’t make a man or a woman to stop having other relationships outside their marriage circle now days marriage is not a big deal and no respect for it at all as I said most people get Married to cover something’s in their lives or to please their culture and their people, some get married because all their age mate or colleague are Married because of pressure and maybe the shame, but not from their heart and will, some are forced by their Parent or community to get married and now when they get in they don’t respect it all because it’s not what they wanted or the kind of a woman he wanted to marry, now when challenges begins to unfold in their Marriage all blame turns to the wife or even a man and that marriage will automatically be troubled .Some time I don’t blame people who have side stickers what we should know first is what is going on in their marriages and what is real causing them to have that habit, some it’s their habit and no matter how their wives treat them with high respect and give them love they will still have multiple women in their lives , that is their habit and nobody can change that until they decide to make up their minds and change for their own good but if not they will die with their habit.
Respect for Marriage is long gone even people have forgotten their culture they are following the modern culture which has no respects to no one , in our modern days so many marriages are breaking everyday because people don’t respect each other anymore some time I wonder does true love exits? If people can love each other with true love they will not seek to hurt one another people seek revenge when one make mistake the other seek to revenge, if he did this to me I will do this too, I have come to realize one thing when a woman begins to have mpango wa kando , or side stickers its not easy to stop but its not easy to start unless pushed to the corner but when she starts its hard to stop. You may ask why? The answer is simple, Men can start to easily and stop easily as well, because men give and men spent from their pockets but women don’t spend from their pockets they spend from the pockets of their lovers nothing that will hurt them, but men can stop easily especially if they have family and growing children
True love will triumph, true love stands the test of time, true love conquers all obstacle, true love does not revenge ,True love goes beyond the obvious , true love does things only love understands, true love protects even if there is open mistakes true love never follow what other are saying and it stands on its ground and never shakes, True love gives, true love gives everything for love love is beautiful thing and everyone want to be loved. Most people or young women take advantage of their beauty and they use their beauty to traumatized men with their beauty and figures but one thing they don’t understand , Beauty is like a morning flower that flourishes so beautiful and everyone falls in love with it and even pluck it and give to their loved one as love flowers but during the day it begins to dry and in the evening it falls away and nobody would want to see it or even recognizes it any more, Beauty will pass away
Why do couple have unhappy marriage its because one part is fall out of love with the other and we all know love a Choice and we know are Commanded to love and we need to activate our will to love. but more than just a choice Love is also love is intense and a marriage to work will power alone is not enough there got to be a passion and lots of it , if the love falls in a marriage that marriage is heading to a failure, you see marriage is like aircraft, if its flying fast zoom is amazing but if its moving slow it has difficulties and skips a lot and its likely to crash also Marriage can not move in Neutral sluggish gear it will fall,
There are several ways a woman can do to keep his man away , a woman has power to keep his man in the house and also has power to keep her man away from the house and give him a great chance to run after other women and stay away from home, if you give him a chance and a reason to do so he will do it with all his heart when he finds someone who treats him as a man it will take the hand of GOD to remove him from that place, and you realizes your mistakes it may be to late to change the situation,
Its the duty of a wife to make her husband feel appreciated loved and cared for even if all its not well everyone want to feel appreciated even if they are not doing good enough in their duties as husbands and fathers in the home they need to appreciated at least make him feel good make him feel he is loved and is someone special, sometime women are so selfish and neglect their duties as wives in their marital life,
The main reason why men decided to look for side stickers its because they lack that Companion at their homes when they get home they find their wives are not ready for them and don’t care about them even they don’t want know of their well being and how the day has been for them out there at their work places, and that makes a man to feel unwelcomed in his own house , when a man feels unwelcomed and not cared in his own house with his own wife and when he feels that way is likely to begin thinking of looking for companion even if is the man of good moral ,anybody in this world everybody want to be shown care and concern and be appreciated even in little things,
Where there is emptiness in any human being they will always seek something to fill the emptiness and when those empty spaces are not filled with your partner which is your wife or husband someone else will fill it and if they does am telling there is trouble , because no one will want to leave with someone who doesn’t care about his or her feelings we all want to live with people who appreciate us, if someone will come and take the place of your partner it will be so easy that person to win their hearts
Three Empty Vacuums
A, Sexual feelings
B, Emotional feelings,
C, Spiritual Life
Sex/ Love making is very important act in marriage sex is the intimacy of Marriage relation and the sex is the result of love shared between two people, if there is love in marriage sex is perfect one, but when there is no love in Marriage the sex becomes an abuse and it becomes bitter and no one will like it , and I believe no one will be happy to have sex with someone who doesn’t care about what he or she feels , that will not be love making but sex, because sex you can do it with anyone who you don’t love as long you have fulfill your last , but love making its with one you real do love and love is a two way traffic , it has giving and receiving and left and right and it goes around, Love and sex are two Different things love is shown but sex is shared love is shown but sex is an act, When there is no perfect sex in marriage this can cause both partner to begin looking outside their marriage circle before sex must be romance and romance can happen only when two people are in love.
Marriage is based on love and if there is no love that marriage will not work no matter the sacrifice of love any relationship without love ends up with abusive verbal’s and you hear people killing one another the love has lost its test and no longer has life, when Marriage begins conflicts and there is no way to resolve it, the best way is to separate and examine yourselves if you love each other or not,
Sometime people can get married for some reasons that are not good and in some bad intentions or with higher expectations when get married those things may not come to pass and that may also cause the big problem in marriage and that union will begin to crumble down Love covers all things but when there is no love in Marriage even small thing can bring up big fight, now before you decide to take action .
What to do,
Examine yourself where did you go wrong and where did you go wrong deep down your heart , think on the first love , think what you felt the day you met and that day you said I will marry you, think deep down your heart.
Be reality be you and correct your mistakes and seek the way to mend your mistakes and seek the lasting solution and never repeat the same mistake again.
Be ready to Confess them and ask for forgiveness repent them and be ready to change for better.
Be ready to avoid things that will bring you back where you were, and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Don’t allow anybody dictate your marriage be your friends, parents or even your Career
Avoid stinging words that may hurt your partners feeling s try to be wise in your words speak gently even when you feel like,
Avoid harsh words because hash words are bitter than a slap in the face,
Avoid speaking with high tones even when you know you are hurt, if you speak in harshness you may not be able to find a solution and end up adding more problems other than solution.
Be reality and always to say sorry when you make mistakes, be in humility , Humility means to bow dawn ,to bend down, even if you know you have done nothing that you are being accused of , bend down and ask for forgiveness.
Seek to make each of you happy always, even when you don’t feel like , don’t use the past mistakes to rebuke , correct or condemn one another, Wherever the problem was once solved should not be mentioned in your present conversation, try hard not to bring past mistakes when solving present problem, Remember there will be so many things you will encounter in life so many challenges you meet on the way, be ready to attack every problem with wisdom from God , ask God to direct you ,
Marriage is a journey and it has its own obstacles and hard ales so must always learn to face it and keep on going pray to God for guidance, marriage is like a garden of flowers so beautiful but it needs to be cultivated all the time, when weeds grows,
Communication is very vital in any relationship , a relationship without without good communication that relationaship can not go far
By Bro Jonathan Mwadime